An apology
I am sorry that posts here have been few and far between. I don't get much reader feedback these days so it's a bit hard telling whether or not a post is read by anyone at all. I will be sure to put up some of my thoughts on "The Cruelty of Heresy" when I get a bit further through the book.
My days are now filled with times amongst my friends. I am extremely grateful to all of them for who they are and what they are doing for me but I am still constantly in a place of sadness. Some points it is more obvious than others but I feel that sometimes I bring somewhat of a "dark cloud" with me into the room. I am hurting more than I would like to admit and when I sleep, I have dreams. And I wake up upset and angry at myself. Within an hour or two I can usually correct most of it but I am nonetheless, throughout the day, constantly visited by these ghost of my imagination. I don't know what to do with myself.
I am not trying to gain sympathy but rather, for any of you who may be frequent readers, give an explanation as to why my posts look the way they do.
I am looking for beauty. I am looking for truth. I am looking for forgiveness.
My days are now filled with times amongst my friends. I am extremely grateful to all of them for who they are and what they are doing for me but I am still constantly in a place of sadness. Some points it is more obvious than others but I feel that sometimes I bring somewhat of a "dark cloud" with me into the room. I am hurting more than I would like to admit and when I sleep, I have dreams. And I wake up upset and angry at myself. Within an hour or two I can usually correct most of it but I am nonetheless, throughout the day, constantly visited by these ghost of my imagination. I don't know what to do with myself.
I am not trying to gain sympathy but rather, for any of you who may be frequent readers, give an explanation as to why my posts look the way they do.
I am looking for beauty. I am looking for truth. I am looking for forgiveness.
posted by -mike- at 9:39 AM
2 Comments:
I'm still prayin' for ya, Mike. As a suffer of clinical depression, I can understand part of what you are going through and how amazing friends can be.
I don't usually comment unless I have something to say, but I'm reading... :-)
Yours, Matt
I'm still reading!
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